Once a Marine ALWAYS a Marine

So the title, Once a Marine Always a Marine. Its something that I will have to live by. Today was my last day working and probably the last day that I will ever wear the Marine uniform. While I have been looking forward to getting out and moving back home to NC, it is a little sad. The last six months have been hard, but I have learned a lot. The Marines that I have worked with, while I might not have always liked them all, have been there for me when I needed them. Its like a family. Even though you don't always get along, everyone has each other's back. I will miss being called a Sergeant. I will miss the shop talk and the craziness that goes along with the Marines. I will also miss the wonderful pay, holidays, and 96s that we got every time there was a holiday. But its time to move on. Its time to start my life and step back out into the real world, where there isn't always that job security, or those instant friends that you make because they are in the same situation as you. Its time to face reality and stare fear in the face. I have a lot going for me. I have an education, savings, friends, family, and a really good head on my shoulders (most of the time). Its great having so many options, but it seems as though having so many options means that I have a really hard time making up my mind. To clear my mind a little I thought that I would write some of these options out. Put them on paper my mom and dad and even sister always says.
Option #1
Move back to NC, do my internship at the VA, get a job in Raleigh, buy a house, a car, and hopefully meet someone and get married and have a family
Option #2
Move back to NC, do my internship at the VA, get a job w the VA in Fayetteville for 2 years, buy a car, then move somewhere else and settle down. Where I do not know.
Option #3
Move back to NC, do my internship at the VA, take Chemistry and Genetics, apply to PA school, get accepted, go to PA school, and figure out life from there
Option #4
Move back to NC, do my internship at the VA, get a job at the VA in DC, buy a car, and maybe a house (This is a very scray option)
Option #5
Move back to NC, do my internship at the VA, apply for a job anywhere in the country, move there and buy a house

So do you see my delimma? I have TOO MANY OPTIONS!! I want to try them all. I think the reason why I hop around from thing to thing is one fear, but two because I never want to say "what if" What if I would have went to PA school. What is I moved to Raleigh. What if I could have gotten a great job in Europe. I want a good career, but I also don't want to miss out on finding that partner in life, that guy that makes me happy, and I don't want to miss out on having a family. I worry that I will never have those things, and I think that is why I am putting everything I have into making my career the best it can be, because it may be all I have.
I joke with my sister saying that I will be the rich aunt, but you know I think I will be the rich, single, childless aunt, and that scares me. I am not feeling sorry for myself, because I have a lot to offer someone, and I think that I may just find that someone. I am just putting my fears and concerns on paper. Most people don't understand me, and they don't understand the reasons why I do the things I do. And you know what? they don't have to. I have finally figured it out. I am okay with me for the first time ever. I am happy with me. I just hope that I will have everything I want. But if I don't get it, then it will be okay. I will just be the best me.
Semper Fidelis
OORAAHH!